He had alot to say.
He had alot of nothing to say.
We'll miss him.
We'll miss him.
He had alot to say.
He had alot of nothing to say.
We'll miss him.
We'll miss him.
We're gonna miss him
We're gonna miss him
So long.
We wish you well.
You told us how you weren't afraid to die.
Well then, so long.
Don't cry.
Or feel too down.
Not all martyrs see divinity.
But at least you tried.
Standing above the crowd,
He had a voice that was strong and loud.
We'll miss him.
We'll miss him.
Ranting and pointing his finger
At everything but his heart.
We'll miss him.
We'll miss him.
We're gonna miss him.
We're gonna miss him.
No way to recall
What it was that you had said to me,
Like I care at all.
But you were so loud.
You sure could yell.
You took a stand on every little thing
And so loud.
You could be the one who saves me from my own existance.
"I'm too smart when you're invisible by the bone and the symbol on you. So he bashes his skull through the window while over looking the sea. Twilight amber ego. We were amused by this"
Standing above the crowd,
He had a voice that was strong and loud and I
Swallowed his facade cuz I'm so
Eager to identify with
Someone above the ground,
Someone who seemed to feel the same,
Someone prepared to lead the way, with
Someone who would die for me.
Will you? Will you now?
Would you die for me?
Don't you fuckin lie.
Don't you step out of line.
Don't you step out of line.
Don't you step out of line.
Don't you fuckin lie.
You've claimed all this time that you would die for me.
Why then are you so surprised when you hear your own
eulogy?
He had alot to say.
He had alot of nothing to say.
He had alot to say.
He had alot of nothing to say.
Come down.
get off your fuckin cross.
We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.
To ascend you must die.
You must be crucified
For our sins and our lies.
Goodbye!!!
I have a tight grasp on what I want
and I'm not letting go
I know what I'm losing, and that's why I can't lose it
the only perfection I was close to is shattering
and it was by my hand
I am to blame for this slow release...
At least that is what I fear
my grip will always be tight, I cannot know what lies on the other end
but without both sides holding on
I will fall hardest.
and I'm not letting go
I know what I'm losing, and that's why I can't lose it
the only perfection I was close to is shattering
and it was by my hand
I am to blame for this slow release...
At least that is what I fear
my grip will always be tight, I cannot know what lies on the other end
but without both sides holding on
I will fall hardest.
The reason behind these poems being posted like that is because I wanted to post one a day, everyday. I haven't been doing that. So figured I could make it up by posting three in a row. These poems are all impromptu. They reflect what I'm going through currently. This is by far the worst situation I've ever been in. If I don't blog regularly in this period of my life, I would not be doing anything productive. and that's just being honest. I'm losing a lot; including my sanity. so this blog is exactly as it's described. It's my vent.
It is my world...
but that's a selfish way to see it
If I had control, all the beaches would have white sand
No one would starve
And I would have you
The world is mine...
and that's a horrible way of putting it
If time was under my jurisdiction, my faults would be corrected
plus, the experience from that points future would have fortified us
Life is in my hands...How egotistical
But if I had my way, it would always be at a standstill for you.
but that's a selfish way to see it
If I had control, all the beaches would have white sand
No one would starve
And I would have you
The world is mine...
and that's a horrible way of putting it
If time was under my jurisdiction, my faults would be corrected
plus, the experience from that points future would have fortified us
Life is in my hands...How egotistical
But if I had my way, it would always be at a standstill for you.
Listening to songs of the past, They bear a different meaning
as I listen more carefully, I hear more than just noise
more than complementary ambiance...
Tones I never realized were there,
chimes that could change minds...
Arrangements that could make your heart skip a beat...
Maybe every song deserves more than one listen,
Using your brain to understand the song as a whole can change perspective
Going into the mind of the composer builds respect
seeing it from the other side can make you a better person
Don't just hear, Listen.
as I listen more carefully, I hear more than just noise
more than complementary ambiance...
Tones I never realized were there,
chimes that could change minds...
Arrangements that could make your heart skip a beat...
Maybe every song deserves more than one listen,
Using your brain to understand the song as a whole can change perspective
Going into the mind of the composer builds respect
seeing it from the other side can make you a better person
Don't just hear, Listen.
It's all so confined, my thoughts
They're all about one thing...person
and they all hurt me
there is no turning back, but there is working through
even when we will be reminded of it always...
I've locked myself into the padded room, and I fear I'll never escape
but maybe that's the problem
I'm concerned with escaping when embracing is the key
embracing is the key...
Even when I do, though, it's all too real for me
But if I don't, then it puts me in a place I don't want to be
It's the sickness I have to live with until she can cure me
and she will...
and she will.
They're all about one thing...person
and they all hurt me
there is no turning back, but there is working through
even when we will be reminded of it always...
I've locked myself into the padded room, and I fear I'll never escape
but maybe that's the problem
I'm concerned with escaping when embracing is the key
embracing is the key...
Even when I do, though, it's all too real for me
But if I don't, then it puts me in a place I don't want to be
It's the sickness I have to live with until she can cure me
and she will...
and she will.
I am insanely tired right now. But I can't sleep at all. It's super late on a friday night where i've done nothing but web-surf all evening. Now it's time for that to end. And I can't end it. Because I can't sleep. Visious cycle. I have a lot on my mind and it's taking it's toll. I haven't posted poems, so later I'll post three; to make up for lost time. This sucks. I'm gonna try to lay in bed again and drift off. I actually have things to take care of in the morning.
You called me today, and that meant a lot. especially when you asked me how I was doing.
There are just some people you can't let go of. I just happen to have a lot of those.
You are here and that is all I need
You listened...and that counts for a lot
especially after the explosion
you build the fort and invited me in...even though I caused the BOOM
in the first place
in the worst way
and still...You were just being you
and that gave me strength
but
you're not the only "You," there's a bunch of Yous waiting for the voice
they have the ears
I have the mouth
We will have the brain...and everything will rebuild itself,
after this big BOOM.
You listened...and that counts for a lot
especially after the explosion
you build the fort and invited me in...even though I caused the BOOM
in the first place
in the worst way
and still...You were just being you
and that gave me strength
but
you're not the only "You," there's a bunch of Yous waiting for the voice
they have the ears
I have the mouth
We will have the brain...and everything will rebuild itself,
after this big BOOM.
I heard every sound in the world today
except the one I wanted to hear...
The soft spoken one, that can almost be as sarcastic as I am
The reassuring
confident
sweet
bubbly
hurt
damaged
confused voice I grew to love...
Gone...only for a little bit, or maybe forever
it all depends
it all depends
I wish the sound could flow into me once again
but what would that show me?
would it show me what i need to change? No
It most certainly wont...It would keep me happy and let the failure restart
So maybe I need not to hear the sound...Just to appreciate it when it flows into my ears once again.
except the one I wanted to hear...
The soft spoken one, that can almost be as sarcastic as I am
The reassuring
confident
sweet
bubbly
hurt
damaged
confused voice I grew to love...
Gone...only for a little bit, or maybe forever
it all depends
it all depends
I wish the sound could flow into me once again
but what would that show me?
would it show me what i need to change? No
It most certainly wont...It would keep me happy and let the failure restart
So maybe I need not to hear the sound...Just to appreciate it when it flows into my ears once again.
I was thinking about so much at that time. Nothing has really changed.
I've sinned
and it doesn't only affect me
it never does...How selfish I was
maybe still am to think that I don't deserve the inevitable
the love I have outweighs all obstacles
but that's only for me, and of course it would be
I'm the sinner
It's a kick in the ass
the mud in the face
the look of a friend
the voice of reason...just to send it all crashing down
followed by confusion
scared of the future simply because I think I've figured it all out
These things leave you breathless in the worst way
more than a test, this bleeds you to decay
Self-hate is just a by-product, a label for me to peel off and deny
Words aren't something you can rely
on
actions are
And the actions come with consequences.
and it doesn't only affect me
it never does...How selfish I was
maybe still am to think that I don't deserve the inevitable
the love I have outweighs all obstacles
but that's only for me, and of course it would be
I'm the sinner
It's a kick in the ass
the mud in the face
the look of a friend
the voice of reason...just to send it all crashing down
followed by confusion
scared of the future simply because I think I've figured it all out
These things leave you breathless in the worst way
more than a test, this bleeds you to decay
Self-hate is just a by-product, a label for me to peel off and deny
Words aren't something you can rely
on
actions are
And the actions come with consequences.
I've used Tumblr for a while, and it was cool. However, I don't feel like it's personal enough. Brief splatterings of favored media clippings don't let you into my mind that much faster than me actually using this medium as a webjournal. So much has happened to me since my last blogspot post; I'm on a different path in my life now. My current emotion is....blank. Mostly distraught though.
Life is just one big as loop-de-loop, ya know? I'm really ready for my sick-bag and a shovel. I'm losing it now. One event that changed the way i look at life and people happened this weekend. I'm not going to go into any details for the simple fact that the dust hasn't settled yet. Just know this; I walk away the big loser.
Life is just one big as loop-de-loop, ya know? I'm really ready for my sick-bag and a shovel. I'm losing it now. One event that changed the way i look at life and people happened this weekend. I'm not going to go into any details for the simple fact that the dust hasn't settled yet. Just know this; I walk away the big loser.
Paul: What's good with you?
Me: Nothing much man. I'm working at Modell's on Times Square...
Paul: Damn, Cool kid. How come you always get the cool jobs?
Me: I Don't know. I'm just a cool guy.
Paul: Whatever. White people just aren't threatened by you.
Me: WoW. You just said that. I'm throwing that on my fucking blog.
Classic.
Gotta go to Mo's right? Thought so. I have long days there. It fucking sucks. Kinda. The passes pretty quick when I actually have a set task list, but lately, since I'm transferring to another store soon, there hasn't been much for me to do. The associates are great, and so are the customers, it's just that everything happens so slow. I feel like I'm on coke compared to these people.It's OKAY though. I'm just cranky because I'm losing my downtime, and that's something I cherish. I miss my boys. Ok, I'm done.
Peace Out.
I'm thinking of moving over to Tumblr-land. It seems simpler. I dunno. This blog spot has been acting up for a while. It just freezes for no reason on me. I'm extra bored. Not that tired, but I've started this thing where I wake up at the same time every day, but go to sleep only when I'm extra tired. Sounds simple, right? Why didn't you think of it then? Huh? JUNO soundtrack is a must. So is Lupe Fiasco's The Cool. If you're bored, Why not check out my Muxtape? OK. I'm Done.
Peace out.
Peace out.
This video is from 2.2.08 @ J&R music world, where Lupe was signing "The Cool." I was so hype I had to document some of it. I think you can actually see my gleaming pearly whites; a sign of my fandom. Quincey makes a guest appearance as "guy who thinks I'm taking a pic until i tell him it's recording." There was another dude there(aka Dude I told to shush) and he was being kinda annoying. "James," if thats your real name. And, finally, I've met another Dylan-lemme rephrase- another Dylan that is in my age group and is not white. Good Times.
I have no idea where to begin this one. February 2nd, 2008 has been one of the best days in my life. I am very grateful for this experience. Lupe was the best, and he had some great people around him as well. If you haven't listened to any of his albums, you're doing yourself a great disservice. I cannot thank my friend Quincey enough for buying the tickets, because i wouldn't have. It all started around 3 o'clock, when he was in J&R Music world, signing his new album. When I got up there, I was speechless. I tried to remain calm, so I told him that I brought with me a copy of "1984" for him to sign. He couldn't do it however, because the policy was that he was only signing copies of "The Cool." He was really cool about it too; he told me that he'd be doing more promos in NYC and that he'd be around to sign it for me. Is whole presence was humble. He seems like the type of dude that you'd hang out with just because you know you're in for an adventure. He wasn't vain or anything, just confident.
I was so excited when we got into the theater and found great standing spots. The warm-ups took forever, but when they were over, a rush of enjoyment filled me. Needless to say, Lupe put on an amazing performance, talking to the crowd between songs. He took us on a nostalgic voyage through his muscial resume. He opened with "Real" and breezed through more "Food & Liqour" songs. One benchmark for the night was when he performed "The Cool." He actually went over to where me and Quincey were standing and rapped along with us! I was estatic. When i flubbed on the lyrics, he laughed and continued on. I figured he did that because he remembered Quincey and I from the signing at J&R. maybe, maybe not.
Before I knew it, the night was coming to an end. I didn't want it to be over, but i soon realized that it had been a fantastic show altogether, from Lupe to Gemstones to Matthew Santos back to Lupe(speaking of Matthew Santos, he has a great song called "Shadows in a Shoebox"). Another standout part of the concert was Nikki Jean. I've had a crush on her since her overjoyed breakdown in her car during "Hip-Hop saved my Life." She is an overall genuine, well spoken individual. For that reason alone(not the fact that she is beaming with Beauty) I have a crush on her.
the last song of the night was "Superstar." The band played with everything they had, and you could just feel all of the positive energy from everyone on stage. The whole FnF crew was on stage to perform that song and they nailed it. It felt like they were at a party, no worries, as carefree as they wanted to be, and I was along for the ride. As Lupe exited the stage with everyone else, he threw his gold watch into the stage, making some lucky person's night even more meaningful. When I got home, I still couldn't believe how awesome of an experience the day was.
I slept like a baby.
I was so excited when we got into the theater and found great standing spots. The warm-ups took forever, but when they were over, a rush of enjoyment filled me. Needless to say, Lupe put on an amazing performance, talking to the crowd between songs. He took us on a nostalgic voyage through his muscial resume. He opened with "Real" and breezed through more "Food & Liqour" songs. One benchmark for the night was when he performed "The Cool." He actually went over to where me and Quincey were standing and rapped along with us! I was estatic. When i flubbed on the lyrics, he laughed and continued on. I figured he did that because he remembered Quincey and I from the signing at J&R. maybe, maybe not.
Before I knew it, the night was coming to an end. I didn't want it to be over, but i soon realized that it had been a fantastic show altogether, from Lupe to Gemstones to Matthew Santos back to Lupe(speaking of Matthew Santos, he has a great song called "Shadows in a Shoebox"). Another standout part of the concert was Nikki Jean. I've had a crush on her since her overjoyed breakdown in her car during "Hip-Hop saved my Life." She is an overall genuine, well spoken individual. For that reason alone(not the fact that she is beaming with Beauty) I have a crush on her.
the last song of the night was "Superstar." The band played with everything they had, and you could just feel all of the positive energy from everyone on stage. The whole FnF crew was on stage to perform that song and they nailed it. It felt like they were at a party, no worries, as carefree as they wanted to be, and I was along for the ride. As Lupe exited the stage with everyone else, he threw his gold watch into the stage, making some lucky person's night even more meaningful. When I got home, I still couldn't believe how awesome of an experience the day was.
I slept like a baby.
I really really really enjoy watching this video. I feel like this remix is deeper than the original. Kudos to Colin Munroe.
It's been a while, huh? that's because i don't have internet on my comp. These words are being typed from my moms place. Since last time, I left school-scratch that- I got DQ'ed. Being in Oswego, I feel, wasn't really letting me be "Me." I wasn't putting my education first when i was there, which is a death wish. I started straying from the path as well as the expectations of my family. I lowered my standards, lost a plan, and had too much fun. Now, it's time to grow. I can say all the positive things in the world to motivate myself, but it'll all be looked at and cliched bullsh*t, so i'm not. I know what I have to do. Since i've been back and let everyone know of my status, i have felt so much better about myself. An immense weight just fell off of me; I'm sure it was the fear of telling everyone that I wasn't doing as well as they had thought. However, I brought all of my shit to the forefront and let it all out. Now I feel like there is nothing to fear. Nothing. I don't owe anyone anything and that's how i intend to keep it. Of course there are goals that I'd like to have accomplished. It's time to start getting on those.
